


Not Quite Yours

by Lost_xoxo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Infidelity, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, One Shot, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-02 22:42:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17272550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_xoxo/pseuds/Lost_xoxo
Summary: If Baekhyun was asked what it felt like to love Chanyeol, he’d say it embraces him with its warmth and burns him with its bitterness the same time.





	Not Quite Yours

**Author's Note:**

> ‘Well maybe it’s me  
> And my blind optimism to blame  
> Or maybe it’s you and your sick need  
> To give love and take it away”

_“People might see-“ Chanyeol didn’t allow Baekhyun to finish his words he pushed him back against the wall, with the press of his supple lips._

_Chanyeol was not patient with the kiss. It was demanding, forceful, sliding his tongue against his lips to draw it between his teeth. Baekhyun’s arms reached up and tangled around Chanyeol’s thick strong neck...his body arched into his broad chest. The strong scent of whisky mingling between their billowed breaths making Baekhyun feel even more intoxicated._

_Chanyeol’s fingers were all over him, gliding down his back they traveled down to his ass squeezing them hard.Slowly the loud noise of the bar faded in the background replaced with throaty moans and shallow breathi_ ng.

That’s how they met. It wasn’t one of those meet cutes, or anything remotely romantic...it was just direct and blunt. Baekhyun’s friend had canceled their plans at the last minute so he ended up at the bar drinking too many Mai Tai’s swaying his body along with the music. When a stranger had occupied his attention and the seat beside him. Chanyeol was tall, lanky, his smile dazzling and his big brown eyes were soft yet they had a glint of mischief to it.

Dressed in leather jacket, fitted graphic tshirt and ripped jeans he looked like the kinda bad boy your _mama_ would warn you about. Exchanging few words and downing glasses of whisky because Chanyeol teased his choice of alcohol. Baekhyun agreed to drink something stronger unlike his girly cocktail or maybe it was just Chanyeol’s ploy of getting him drunk because the next thing he knew he was being shoved against the wall somewhere at the back of the bar.

He had never been kissed like that before there was a thrill about it he felt like a teenager all over.

                         ━━✶━━

Just like any other morning Baekhyun placed his steaming mug of coffee on the kitchen counter and offered the other to Chanyeol who flipped through pages of the newspaper, He reached out his hand to take the mug from Baekhyun and their eyes locked over for a few seconds. The soft warmth of Chanyeol’s expression only a few months back was _gone_.

Still Baekhyun let his lips curve into a small smile, “Can you get back a little early today?”

Chanyeol looked up from the paper arching an eye brow, “Why?”

“I was thinking we could go for a movie or something....we haven’t been spending any time together lately..so I thought” Baekhyun trailed of his eyes blinking.

“I don’t know, i have clients coming in today...am not sure when il be free” Chanyeol shrugged nonchalantly sipping on the coffee.

“Ohhh...then maybe we can do something in the weekend” he said with hesitation. He wasn’t sure of things anymore.

Chanyeol hummed in response now eyes glued to his phone.

Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel jealous of how the magazines on the coffee table, a text message and even the boring dramas on the television got more of Chanyeol’s attention. It felt silly how desperately he wanted the other to notice him.

Chanyeol stood up folding the newspaper, “I’m getting late, il text you latter” grabbing the car keys and his briefcase Chanyeol left without sparing a single glance at him.

Baekhyun bit his lower lip and looked away nodding slightly. He stood there rooted long after Chanyeol was gone with the forgotten coffee mug, devoid of warmth.

                          ━━✶━━

_They snuggled on the couch, covered in a blanket engrossed watching the movie playing on the flatscreen. Baekhyun’s eyes’s widened and body went rigid every time the screen went black waiting for the jump scare and fingers gripping tightly on Chanyeol’s arm._

_The next moment was intense, flash of lights, loud sounds adding a dramatic flair to heighten the fear as the Killer jumped on his prey. Baekhyun gasped dropping the popcornsfrom his hold, immediately a big hand covered his eyes._

_“What happened? Tell me?” Baekhyun urged curiously._

_“A body got sliced in half” Chanyeol replied in an amused tone._

_“Oh god! Really?” Baekhyun shuddered just thinking about it._

_“Yup..oh another guy got stabbed right in his eyes” Chanyeol chucked._

_“I hate the movie already” Baekhyun mumbled removing Chanyeol’s hand from his eyes and holding it on his own, still not looking at the screen._

_“Good” Chanyeol picked up the remote switching off the movie he threw it on the coffee table carelessly, then he turned around and pulled Baekhyun closer to him making the bowl resting on Baekhyun’s lap topple with a thud, the popcorns scattered on the ground like snow flakes._

_“See what you just did...now we don’t have anything to eat” Baekhyun glared at him._

_“Well I can definitely think of something else” Chanyeol bent down whispering huskily in Baekhyun’s ear making him shiver._

_“You..you are so...” Baekhyun pouted shoving the other on his chest with his fingers._

_But all his meek protests were quickly drowned into kisses that tasted like butter and happiness._

━━✶━━

Baekhyun poked his uneaten dinner with the chopstick. Glancing at the clock for the millionth time as if that will make the time speed up. Chanyeol had sent a “Il be late” text hours back. All the calls had gone straight to voice mail making him feel more anxious.

Sighing he threw his dinner in the bin, he had lost his appetite anyway. He couldn’t even remember the last time he and Chanyeol had shared a meal together? Just the two of them!

Baekhyun entered his home office, as a freelance web designer he had set up an office on his own. Maybe if he would just busy himself with work then it would be easier.

Staring at the screen for an hour, Baekhyun realised his mind is too occupied to come up with anything creative. He would just end up making a layout that he’d have to delete latter.

Hearing the door click upon, Baekhyun walked to the living room, only to find a slightly drunk Chanyeol loosening his necktie with shaky fingers.

“It’s really late” Baekhyun murmured.

“I told you il be late...you didn’t have to wait up” Chanyeol replied flatly, running his fingers through his dark hair.

“Yah I know..but I wanted to”

“Everyone went for a few drinks after the meeting...I couldn’t say no” saying Chanyeol stumbled past him towards the bedroom.

Right. But he could easily say no when Baekhyun asked him to visit the art exhibition saying it was boring. Even if he planned on doing something that Chanyeol enjoyed like bowling he would just cancel it because he didn’t have time. All the _NO_ were reserved just for him, for the rest Chanyeol would willingly do things.

Swallowing the hurt he ambled to their bedroom. Chanyeol had already changed into his night clothes and was getting ready for bed.

“You are going to bed?” He could already see but he still attempted to make a conversation or whatever was left of it.

“Yah I am tired and it’s pretty late” Chanyeol got on the bed and slipped inside the blanket.

“Did you have a good time?” It felt more like an interrogation than talking yet he tried.

“I went with my colleagues for a drink Baekhyun not to a rave, I didn’t go for enjoyment” Chanyeol’s forehead creased.

There was the hidden tone in his words which said _don’t_ _ask_ _such_ _stupid_ _questions_   _Baekhyun_   _it_ _irritates_ _me_.

“Anyway I feel tired...goodnight” saying he turned to the other side, turned away from Baekhyun who stood in the room just like another furniture. He wondered if Chanyeol would even notice if he disappeared.

 

Sometime in the night Baekhyun felt warm hands pulling up the hem of his t-shirt and touching him.

“I thought you wanted to sleep” Baekhyun whispered.

“No I couldn’t, I want you” Chanyeol’s voice was deep as he slipped his hands inside Baekhyun’s sweat pants stroking him up and down. Baekhyun whimpered in response. He wanted Chanyeol..he _wanted_ him bad and not just physically. But If this is how he he’d get his boyfriend close to him Baekhyun accepted it.

Chanyeol slipped out of his clothes throwing them on the floor, removing the blanket he helped Baekhyun get rid of his clothes, a part of Baekhyun relished the urgency in Chanyeol knowing how turned on on he was for Baekhyun, but a part of him wanted Chanyeol to go slow so this moment would last longer.

Chanyeol lightly pushed him onto his back before getting on top of him. Atleast he was still _gentle_. Baekhyun pulled him into a kiss, he has been craving for him. Chanyeol responded with his tongue exploring his mouth which made Baekhyun grab the others hair in his fist.

Chanyeol teased his nipples until it hardened under his warm mouth, urging him to open his legs wide while his fingers worked inside Baekhyun deftly.

“Are you ready?” Chanyeol breathed.

“Yahh” Baekhyun’s voice was mere whisper.

With that he entered him, Baekhyun wrapped his legs around Chanyeol’s lower back for support. Chanyeol thrusted into him, his fingers digging on the skin of Baekhyun’s as he quickened his pace. Baekhyun moaned loudly as the pleasure seeped through him. They came together making their bodies tremble.

Chanyeol waited for a few minutes before pulling out, still panting he lay on top of Baekhyun, who carded his fingers through his hair.

Chanyeol planted a quick kiss on his lips before going back to sleep, Baekhyun turned to the other side facing the wall, the taste of wine from Chanyeol’s mouth lingered in his tongue, and a smell of cologne that he couldn’t recognise hung heavy in the air making his stomach knot.         

                         ━━✶━━

Baekhyun has never doubted Chanyeol. He has never had a reason to. Even if there was the gnawing distance between them increasing every day he thought it was a phase...they would be over it and go back to being how it was full of love.

 

_Baekhyun turned around to see Chanyeol standing, snow flakes staring to cling onto him in pristine white._

_He walked back towards him, “What happened?” Baekhyun looked at him confusedly. It was starting to get colder._

_Chanyeol fixed his gaze on him, his brown orbs  shining brightly under the street lights. His lips curved into a dazzling smile that made Baekhyun weak in the knee._

_“Aren’t you cold?” Baekhyun asked noticing Chanyeol bare fingers, he took them in his own mitten covered hands to warm them up._

_“I love you” Chanyeol blurted out._

_“What?” Baekhyun stared at him wide eyed._

_“I love you...” it was the first time he  said it...it was simple, Chanyeol didn’t use fancy words yet it flew through Baekhyun quicker than fire in dry wood pulling him into a heady trance._

_“I love you too” Baekhyun murmured wrapping his arms around Chanyeol. The sense of warmth and safety engulfing him._

         ━━✶━━

Baekhyun stood beside Chanyeol with a glass of champagne in his hand, smiling, making small talks when he was required to with people he didn’t know. To his surprise Chanyeol looked like he was actually happy and enjoying himself, he was talking, his face breaking into a smile now and then.

Baekhyun couldn’t tell if this was a pretence because he hadn’t seen Chanyeol like this for a long time at least when he was with him he looked like someone had scraped out the happiness off him. Just the thought of it hurt him. 

Chanyeol busied himself conversing with a small group people regarding his work, Baekhyun’s eyes wandered around the office. This was one of those parties were every one brought their plus one to show off like an eye candy. Baekhyun was just there to fill the place.

Baekhyun had slowly drifted off from Chanyeol, sipping on his second or third glass of Champagne he couldn’t remember when his boyfriend called for him. 

“Baek, come here” There was that sweetness in Chanyeol’s voice that his ears earned to hear everyday.

Silently he walked back to him, Chanyeol glanced at him smiling. His dark hair pushed back leaving his forehead on display making his face look even more stunning that it already was. Theblack suit hugging his long slim body. He made heads turn, something Baekhyun was proud of. 

“Hyung I was looking for you” a guy around Chanyeol’s height probably younger sauntered towards them. He looked like he walked out of those fashion magazines that Baekhyun had seen in the newsstand.

“Jongin” Chanyeol reached out to pull the guy into a hug. 

Baekhyun couldn’t help but notice that the hug lingered for too long that he had to look away.

“This is Jongin, he has joined recently as an intern” Chanyeol spoke as they broke out of the embrace.

“Chanyeol hyung is my mentor actually” Jongin said shyly.

“He is Baekhyun, my boyfriend” Chanyeol pointed at him. Baekhyun gave a small smile extending his hand out of courtesy.

“Nice to meet you, I have heard about you” Jongin shook his hand. 

“I hope it’s nothing bad” Baekhyun added jokingly but he wondered what Chanyeol would have to say about him to others , when he barely spoke to him. 

The rest of the evening Chanyeol stole glances with Jongin when he thought no one was looking and Baekhyun pretended that he didn’t see while he drank a few more glasses of alcohol to wash down every painful emotion bubbling within him.       

                         ━━✶━━                         

Baekhyun stood in front of the mirror looking at his reflection staring back at him, probably mocking at him jeering him for being such a _fool_.

He brushed his blonde hair, he tapped on his cheeks a few times to get some colour on them, he looked paler than before, his jawline more prominent, his eyes lacked the shine once he had. He wondered if Chanyeol saw the difference in him?

Probably not, since he came home late most nights,sometimes drunk, sometimes smelling like someone else.Baekhyun would excuse himself with some work and sleep in his office. The next morning he would just throw Chanyeol’s clothes in the laundry to get rid of the smell of the cologne, yet it would keep suffocating him even after washing.

                         ━━✶━━

“Sleep here will you?” Chanyeol’s voice came from behind. 

Baekhyun halted in his step, he bit his lip to stop himself from saying something. He heard shuffling, and Chanyeol’s footsteps. A strong touched his shoulder to turn him around to face the other.

Chanyeol gazed at him with hooded eyes.

“I want you to sleep in our bed tonight not anywhere else”

He let the pad of his thumb graze Baekhyun’s lips which quivered at his touch. Chanyeol leaned in closer cupping his cheeks with his hands, he kissed Baekhyun long and soft. There was no urgency, it dragged slowly sending shivers down his spine, blood rushing through his body. Chanyeol always had that effect on him...the one which made your pulse quicken and feel like your heart would explode any minute. 

Chanyeol’s mouth tasted like peppermint and lies, but for tonight he believed that Chanyeol wanted him.

With every kiss Baekhyun’s resolve crumbled. He let Chanyeol take him to their bed, undress him, and touch him.

“I missed this” Chanyeol whispered into Baekhyun’s ear.

“I missed you” Baekhyun let the words slip out of his mouth making Chanyeol smile into the kiss. 

As Chanyeol plunged into him, Baekhyun dug his nails to his back which would probably leave mark but he didn’t care. When Chanyeol arched himself towards Baekhyun and moaned his name repeatedly Baekhyun wanted to concentrate on the pleasure that consumed him, yet he couldn’t help but wonder if Chanyeol would let other names tumble through his lips the same way.                            

                        ━━✶━━

One morning Chanyeol rolled over to his side, Baekhyun turned towards him so he could see his face, he gently brushed away the stray hairs from his forehead, kissing the corners of his plump lips, he moved closer to Chanyeol taking in his body warmth. Usually he would get up before Baekhyun these days and leave for work early guess today was an exception.

Baekhyun wanted to enjoy these little moments. Just being close to Chanyeol was pure bliss to him. But his happiness lasted for a really short time, when he leaned in to nuzzle the crook of Chanyeol’s neck, he found raw red teeth marks which obviously weren’t his. They last time they made love was when Chanyeol asked him to sleep in their room which was 4 days ago. 

Immediately he jerked himself away from Chanyeol, Baekhyun stumbled out of the bed towards the bathroom, and with each step his stomach tightened and nausea clawed at his throat. He lurched forward and sunk to hisknees on the cold tiles. 

All this while he thought maybe just maybe he was jumping into conclusions. But today all the illusions of Chanyeol’s love for him fell away.

Baekhyun closed his eyes shut, those red marks haunting him.                            

                          ━━✶━━

_As their bodies sank down on the bare mattress Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun, eyes glinting, a wry grin on his lips. "Now I can wake up next to you every morning."_

_At the moment Baekhyun felt like his heart would explode with burst of love knowing that Chanyeol had asked him to move in with him so they could be together. Baekhyun moved closer to him, “ummm I like the sound of it”_

_“Also I plan to keep you up every night” Chanyeol tilted his head giving a lopsided smile._

_“What? No I definitely didn’t sign up for this” Baekhyun feigned a surprise look._

_Chanyeol brushed his lips along Baekhyun’s earlobe, and nibbled on it knowing that was his weak spot._

_“Your mine now, you can’t really escape” he winked._

_Mine mine mine_

_The words rang in Baekhyun’s ear like music_

                          ━━✶━━

Are you okay? your face looks pale” Chanyeol asked as he buttoned his shirt.

“Yah just tired” Baekhyun replied sitting on the bed resting his head on the headboard as he watched Chanyeol fixing his hair, he didn’t even make an effort to hide the mark just pulled up the collar of his shirt a little.

“Maybe you should try applying some foundation” Baekhyun said flatly.

“What? You know I don’t like make up” Chanyeol answered cocking his eye brow in surprise.

“Guess I am forgetting things lately” Baekhyun rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Chanyeol turned around and walked towards him, he bend down to kissed his forehead “Take some rest...don’t get up I will eat something in office”

“Chanyeol” Baekhyun’s voice was needy as he grabbed his wrist, “don’t go to office today....stay with me” he wanted to be _selfish_ and he wanted him all for himself.

Chanyeol smiled a little and lifted up Baekhyun’s chin, “I wish I could but internal audits are starting all accountants need to be present sorry” then he removed his hand from Baekhyun’s grip.

“Also il be late don’t wait up” Saying Chanyeol left.

Baekhyun just stared at his retreating figure, he fought back the tears that threatened to fall. He felt scared that he was loosing him a little too fast.                     

                        ━━✶━━

The whole next week Baekhyun barely got to see Chanyeol as he came home when he had already fallen asleep and left early in the morning most days even before Baekhyun woke up he said it’s because of the pressure at work. Not that Baekhyun didn’t understand that year ending was a crucial time for accountants but he missed him.

Baekhyun was so behind his own work which kept piling up yet he just couldn’t get himself to do anything. Most of the time he sat thinking what went wrong in their relationship. There were days he would think if it’s Jongin who had left his marks on Chanyeol’s neck or was it someone else. He wondered if it’s a woman ?!

Then he would think where things went wrong? It couldn’t be just Chanyeol’s fault. Maybe it’s him. He could have been better. He could have loved better. He could have been more patient, more understanding. He could have done this and done that.

Baekhyun couldn’t recall the last time Chanyeol had even said he loved him? Maybe he should just confront him, talk to him. He has avoided, ignored everything until now thinking Chanyeol would realise his mistakes and come around. 

After a log time, Baekhyun got up from the couch and took a hot shower. He has been cooped in the house for days. It was late but he decided to drive to Chanyeol’s office. They could atleast have dinner together for once.

As he entered the office, Minji smiled at him from the secretary desk.

“Is Chanyeol here ? “ Baekhyun enquired.

“Yes...Mr Park is in his office..” she replied after a second hesitatingly. 

“Thanks” Baekhyun trudged towards his office, thinking the door is locked he rapped on it lightly. Getting no response he twisted the door knob, it opened with a click.

Baekhyun stepped inside the office and his eyes instantly fell on Chanyeol standing in between a guy’s legs who is sitting on the desk with his shirt open, Chanyeol hands gripping his hips. Both of them looking disheveled.

Baekhyun tore his gaze away from the distraught looking expression on the guy’s face who stared back at him, he focused on the floor beneath which was scattered with papers, pen holders and other stuff, Chanyeol has always been a urgent lover wasn’t he? He must have shoved everything off the table.

This was it. Every little things that he has been trying so hard to ignore and pretend as nothing is real. He saw his _trust_ , his _happiness_ , his _love_ crumbling in front of him and he stood there frozen.

“Baekhyun” Chanyeol’s voice wavered as he stumbled towards him zipping his trousers, fixing his shirt.

“Baek, listen—“ Chanyeol said shakily but Baekhyun raised his hand gesturing him to stop. He didn’t need any explanation.

“Chanyeol atleast you can do is lock the door” Baekhyun couldn’t believe himself that he still had the ability to form coherent words from his mouth.

“Sehun please leave” Chanyeol spoke curtly as he came closer to Baekhyun.

He watched the boy’s crestfallen face as he left the room. Baekhyun almost felt pity, He knew what it felt like to love Chanyeol, maybe Sehun was a victim too.

“Is he one of your trainees ? He looks young” Baekhyun asked solemnly.

“Yes” Chanyeol nibbled his bottom lips, his face flushed.

“Guess you have a type” Baekhyun smiled ruefully.

“Baek, please” Chanyeol reached out his hand to touch him.

Baekhyun flinched away “don’t..don’t touch me” he spat out but there was no hint of venom in his tone it was more like plea.

He couldn’t stand inside the place anymore when the place smelled of betrayal, regrets and lies. Baekhyun ran out of the office...he could hear Chanyeol’s voice calling for him. But he didn’t stop until he got inside his car. He didn’t know he drove back to the house.

He vaulted onto his bed, once the first tear got away, the rest followed it, creating a huge pool on his pillow. All that he loved and all that he could ever have wanted, has slipped through his fingers.

Baekhyun could feel a very familiar warmth encasing him in a hold, but he felt too tired to open his eyes. He let his head loll to the broad chest, a strong pair of arms wrapped around his middle.

He just wanted to feel this without having to actually look him in the eye because that would make things real.

“Baek I am sorry” Chanyeol whispered into the shell of his ear.

“I know...I am sorry too..that I trusted you” Baekhyun replied, his voice cracking.

“I-i have no excuse for this” Chanyeol said grimly.

Baekhyun felt anger, jealousy, possessiveness and a thousand maddening sensations all at once he wanted to scream, shout at Chanyeol for betraying him but there was no point of it. Nothing in the world would bring his trust back...it was broken.

“I knew..I knew that you were with other people but I wanted to believe...that I was wrong...that you would never cheat on me...but today...” tears flooded Baekhyun’s face, he felt the muscles of his chin tremble like a small child.

Chanyeol tightened his grip on him. Baekhyun could hear the thrumming of his heart. A heart that didn’t belong to him.

“Do you even love me?” He spoke breathily turning his head around to look at the other’s face.

Chanyeol’s eyes were slightly red his jaw hardened, Baekhyun wondered if he cried? _Does guilt make one cry? Or did he even feel an ounce of guilt?_

Chanyeol closed his eyes, “ I don’t know.. I did love you..but it just doesn’t feel the same anymore..I guess I just fell out of it..but I want you to know that I try..” his voice sounded distant.

It’s either you love someone or you don’t there was no in between.

Baekhyun removed Chanyeol’s arms from his body which fell slack on his side, as he had no energy. “I-I need to be alone for sometime” he wobbled towards the other room.

Baekhyun thought he should check his body for wounds because the pain didn’t feel metaphorical it felt like he was oozing blood from places where Chanyeol’s words twisted like knives.

The thought of Chanyeol sleeping with other people didn’t hurt him as much as  hearing that he didn’t love him anymore...this broke him. Maybe it was always out in the open...he was too foolish to not see it.

 

Chanyeol woke up groggily, he didn’t even realise when he drifted to sleep. His neck hurt from laying in an uncomfortable position.

He knew talking wouldn’t fix anything still he needed to see Baekhyun. So he peeked in his home office which was empty, he  walked to the living room..Baekhyun didn’t come to bed last he had probably slept on the couch.

But the couch was untouched with the cushions still arranged the way Baekhyun always liked it.

“Baek?” He called out and waited for a response that didn't come.

Noticing a set ofhouse keys, on the coffee table, Baekhyun’s keys he picked it up with a note placed underneath.

 

 _Chanyeol_ ,

_I hope someday you will sit infront of the tv,_

_And suddenly wonder if am still scared of watching horror movies,_

_Or I if I still drink cocktails in bar_

_that have funny names,_

_But mostly I hope you find someone you love because I lost mine._

 

There was no goodbye there was no need of writing that down...the keys were enough of a prove that Baekhyun wasn’t coming back.

Chanyeol slumped down on the sofa his fingers clutching the note, letting the silent tears of regret spill down on his face.

                          ━━✶━━

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed to write some ChanBaek angst ! Also i wanted to make Baekhyun’s character somewhat relatable as to how much we try to work out a relationship but being in a relationship that brings nothing but hurt is never an option. So we have no choice but to walk away from the toxicity.


End file.
